You are currently browsing the archives for the non-celebrities category.

Breaking News

Non-News: GNN Aspiring Novelist Update Means 50K Words

Joanne Huspek @ November 29, 2008 # No Comment Yet

Dateline: Internet and beyond
If you’ve been wondering where GNN has been (and me, for that matter) for the month of November, wonder no more.
I have spent the last month participating in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). The goal is to write 50K words in the month of November.
Last night, at 6:30 p.m. EST, this aspiring […]

More on page 52

GNN Non-News Expose! San Francisco Puts Out Homeless!

Joanne Huspek @ October 23, 2008 # One Comment

Dateline: San Francisco, California
This GNN non-news correspondent is supposed to be enjoying a few days away from the salt mines, and has chosen the Left Coast as the destination. (Eh, what else? This is definitely NOT news!) However, just because she’s supposed to be enjoying herself doesn’t mean her nose for non-news isn’t working.
During a […]

More on page 49

GNN Non-News Pauses for a Moment of Silence in Honor of the Economic Crisis

Joanne Huspek @ October 14, 2008 # 2 Comments

Dateline: All over the world
GNN Non-News is pausing for a moment of silence in thoughtful contemplation of our current worldwide economic crisis.
This non-correspondent is waiting with a safety net in anticipation of brokers, politicians and the like falling out of the sky.
All three of our fans should come back later.

More on page 48

GNN: Non-News of the Worst Kind - Stock Market Falls, Family Rendered Penniless

Joanne Huspek @ October 6, 2008 # 2 Comments

Dateline: The US
Recent failure of the stock markets in New York and beyond have caused the value of most stocks to fall. As a result, what was once a fairly healthy portfolio for the Non-News Editor (supposedly helping her to usher in old age without going to the poor farm) is now barely worth the […]

More on page 47

GNN: Type A Businessman Claims He Can Live on a Farm

Joanne Huspek @ September 30, 2008 # 3 Comments

Dateline: Northeastern Indiana
Date: Friday, September 26, 2008
The scene: Inside a 2005 Prius, motoring toward metropolitan Indianapolis for a pre-arranged golf date with a couple of chums.
While on what ended up being a very long road trip for a weekend getaway, this non-correspondent stopped for gas and a quick lunch somewhere in the wilds of northeastern […]

More on page 46

GNN: Fall of Financial Markets Proves to Be Non-News in the Biggest Way

Joanne Huspek @ September 22, 2008 # 2 Comments

Dateline: Lower US 48
As we all know, word of last week’s collapse of Wall Street’s most prestigious financial and insurance instititutions have had the entire globe on pins and needles.
However, Non-News has noticed that for the most part, many are unaware of the economic Armageddon which is upon us. GNN initially predicted a heavy run […]

More on page 44

GNN: Non-News Update on Weather Non-Event

Joanne Huspek @ September 16, 2008 # No Comment Yet

Dateline: Royal Oak, Michigan
This non-weather report is brought to you by the Bead Show recently held at the Rock Financial Showplace. No, it’s not really, but you knew that coming in. This weather report is, however, fashionably late, all dressed up in a tuxedo, of course.
Weather Report: Hurricane Ike
This intrepid non-reporter was thousands of miles […]

More on page 43

GNN: Non-News NEWS!

Joanne Huspek @ September 11, 2008 # 2 Comments

Dateline: Internet
This week heralded the much anticipated return of the Stickman to the portals at GNN. Said somewhat non-correspondent managed to write two articles in two days, and vows (threatens) to write something every day for the foreseeable future.
As a result, this non-editor is breathing a sigh of relief. She was getting worn down from […]

More on page 41

GNN: Non-News Political Contribution to the Presidential Race

Joanne Huspek @ September 2, 2008 # 3 Comments

Since I’m all about non-news, I figure this fits right in…
Dateline: Various Internet Sources…. Bristol Palin, the eldest daughter of Republican Vice Presidential choice, Sarah Palin, has been reported to be the actual mother of Trig, the youngest of the Palin brood. Now it has been reported that Bristol is indeed pregnant, and to marry […]

More on page 37

GNN: Non-Correspondent Prepares for Gruelling Cross-Country Road Trip

Joanne Huspek @ August 12, 2008 # No Comment Yet

Dateline: Royal Oak
This non-correspondent reports that launch time of the Road Trip to College, scheduled to begin at 7 a.m. tomorrow morning, is still on schedule. This, despite the fact that the incoming college freshman took off with her car and her boyfriend and all of the dorm room provisions are still stacked by the […]

More on page 30